Ben Rumson: “I have read the Bible, Mrs. Fenty.”
Mrs. Fenty: “Didn’t that discourage you from drinking?”
Ben Rumson: “No, but it sure killed my appetite for readin’!”
Going from Dances With Wolves to Paint Your Wagon is skipping from the pinnacle of self-seriousness to the heights of libertarian farce. Part Western, part musical and part satire, Paint Your Wagon has gained a certain cultural notoriety as the Western with singing instead of shooting, notably spoofed by The Simpsons.
Paint Your Wagon is the story of a hastily formed mining partnership between the scruffy, drunken mountain man Ben Rumson (Lee Marvin), and newcomer Pardner (Eastwood, who is not named throughout the movie, in a wink to his iconic role as The Man With No Name). In the mountains of the California gold rush, Rumson rescues Pardner when he and his brother plunge down a mountainside, and they hit a goldstrike together at the brother’s burial. Soon, a mining encampment of 400 springs up, dubbed ‘No-Name City’.
When a Mormon and his two wives enter the all-male town, the affection-starved populace go into a frenzy, and it is soon resolved that the second of the two wives will be auctioned to the highest bidder. A falling-down-drunk Rumson stumbles into the auction in progress, doubles the going bid, and passes out cold, $800 poorer and a wife richer.
It soon becomes clear that an encampment with one woman is very different from an encampment with none, as Rumson’s new wife Elizabeth (Jean Seberg) becomes a major tourist attraction, and demands a permanent cabin rather than a tent. Meanwhile, a jealous Rumson, driven to madness by the hundreds of jealous eyes upon him at all times, persuades the townspeople to found a brothel, quickly turning No-Name City into a thriving boomtown.
Despite Paint Your Wagon’s refusal to take itself seriously, its beautiful scripting and permanent tongue-in-cheek hide a movie with something real to say about the Old West. It masterfully portrays its characters mix of libertarianism and misanthropy with winking affection, and shows how essential some moral flexibility and willingness to adapt is to life on a muddy and frigid frontier, while at the same time handily explaining the conflicting urge to civilise.
One recurrent criticism of Paint Your Wagon is that the central love triangle is under-realised, with Eastwood and Seberg’s relationship mainly established in a much-decried montage. In a way, though, that’s part of the point – the film simply takes the predictability and universality of human nature for granted, and lets the viewer do so, too.
In fact, for a movie dealing with such potentially grim themes, Paint Your Wagon is remarkably good-natured and fun. You know you’re in safe hands when the confrontation of two women by 400 lawless, horny men is handled with such aplomb. There’s a particularly sweet moment when the town’s blacksmith offers to pay $50 in gold dust for the chance to hold the Mormons’ baby. Other moments carry a vicious edge, like when a pastor rides into town howling about sin and damnation, before introducing a Native American girl who is tied to his saddle and looks no more than 12 as “my wife, Princess Hummingbird”.
The production and staging on Wagon is glorious, the repartee is sharp, and there’s some fantastic physical comedy on offer. However, many of the songs are forgettable, and it’s quite a time sink at 164 minutes – points which should take none of the shine off for anyone willing to give it a chance. For the patient, Paint Your Wagon is an underappreciated wonder, and a canonical addition to the Western genre no real fan should miss.





